2010 - New Year

Happy New Year! 2010, another year the beginning of another decade. Or is it? They are still debating it, so who actually knows. So this is the time of the year when you take stock of your life, make changes, committments to do better, be better. So I am curious, how did I do....my number one resolution is always to lose weight. So far I have lost 30 pounds, give or take the day. Sometimes it's 30, other days it's 27 other days it's 32. But no matter what, I finally have put myself on the road to weight loss. Still need another 10 pounds gone and then I can concentrate on firming everything up. My goal is to wear shorts this summer and not feel self-conscious. I think that is an attainable goal. Everything else, all of the other goals, kinds of a wash. No better, no worse than last year so I guess that is good in some respect.

My focus for 2010 is learning how to relax and be present. I spend so much time worrying about the next thing, that I never really enjoy the moment. I am going to work really hard at this, because with a small child all of the fun happens in the here and now. If I am constantly worrying about tomorrow I am going to miss all of the really cool things that Ben does and is! The other thing is I have to let go of my desire to be the "good/fun" parent. I let Mike play the heavy role too often. I have to make sure that I am reinforcing all of the lessons/discipline that Mike is trying to instill. Besides that, I want to recommit to my faith and making it a priority as well as realy focusing on my family and those who love me. I am going to try and let go of all the pettiness that has been a focal point of my life for so long. Big goals...i don't know if all of this is attainable, but if I am on path working towards them then that is progress.